Sometimes my depth of field is pretty shallow. Rather than dwell on the past or anticipate the future, I really am zoned in on the here and now. Not in the good “live in the present” way, but in “The traffic is stuck / And you’re not moving anywhere” way. Where I focus so intently on the details that I lose sight of the big picture. Where I trip over my own two feet trying to dance to a new tune.
And it’s agonizing. For two solid days now I’ve been wondering why the ads weren’t showing up on my site. I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong. I checked the code, rearranged elements, adjusted widths and heights, scoured help forums, added widgets, removed widgets . . . fixed everything I could conceivably fix. An obsessive determination to understand kicked in. And I wanted to understand Right Now.
I couldn’t force a solution, however, much less constrain it to the time frame I had in mind. The hours of effort I put into correcting things had no bearing on when they’d actually be corrected. It turns out it wasn’t an intellectual process at all; it was a letting-things-be-revealed-when-they’re-good-and-ready-to-be-revealed process.
Because very subtly, when the time was right, something pinged. Something which I’d given absolutely no thought to before. Something that had nothing to do with all the online finagling I’d already finagled. “Wait a minute,” the thought quietly came, “Didn’t I install a Firefox plug-in two days ago that . . . blocks . . . ads . . . ?” Oh. My. Goodness.
My code was right all along. The columns and margins, the settings and styles, the widths and widgets all exactly as they should be. I just hadn’t seen the forest for the trees.
“There’s a lesson here, Joy,” I coached myself condescendingly. And it’s that I’ll learn what I need to, get where I’m going, fix what needs fixing, without all the fuss and bother, when I’m meant to. So for now, let’s just enjoy this beautiful day.
What are you focusing on?
I totally understand that stuck in traffic feeling.
A few years ago I read Daniel Gilbert’s Stumbling on Happiness. It’s mercifully not a how to, rather it’s a why. It chronicles a lot of contemporary research on happiness and emotion.
It was insightful as well as being an enjoyable read. If I remember properly, Joanne E also liked it (isn’t she a gold standard among readers?).
It’s kind of funny that you’re simultaneously installing and blocking ads. I’m seriously considering removing ads from my blog at this point, but I haven’t ever considered ad-blocking software in my own browser. We are the yin and yang of internet ad ambiguity.
I like your blog’s new look. The colors are very soothing and the look is very clean.
I really enjoyed your awakening to the solution to that issue. It reminded me of something from a book I just finished reading called “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom:
“You have to find what’s good and true and beautiful in your life as it is now.”
…not steeped in the past, not racing forward trying to reach for the ideal tomorrow, but never seeming to make it…it’s resting in the assurance of the good going on right now.
I too like the new “clothes” your blog is wearing, nice work!
Hey Adrienne! I’ll have to look into Stumbling on Happiness. If it has the Adrienne and the Joanne E seal of approval, it must be good!
And yes, I’m definitely an internet contradiction. I put a band-aid over incoming ads while inflicting outgoing wounds.
I should also add that I’ve added http://babytoolkit.blogspot.com/ to my blogroll! It took this long because I figured, “Huh, I don’t have kids, so it won’t be much use to me,” only to be reminded of how cool you are and how much I learn even with the trappings of baby advice. A fun and informative read for all!
I’ve always meant to read Tuesdays with Morrie, Ellen! I may be totally off-base, but I’ve thought I’d enjoy it because I tend to get along with old men (like grandpas, you know?). With thoughts like that, now I have even more of an incentive to check it out!